10 Knee-Slapping Dad Jokes for Father’s Day

Jokes So Unfunny, They’re Hilarious

You don’t have to be a dad to appreciate a dad’s sense of humor—you know, those jokes so corny and contrived, you can’t help but groan and roll your eyes. Yet somehow, you can’t suppress the urge to repeat them later on when you see a moment of opportunity. Everyone knows what we’re talking about—those jokes, so obviously clever, yet so painfully punny, they can only be delivered by a man who has so little shame, that he’d wear socks with sandals. We’re talking about DAD JOKES!

Despite the flak dad jokes have received, I think we owe them at least a little credit. Cause let’s face it, these word works of art have been subtly spun and adeptly honed while mowing the yard, hanging Christmas lights, and organizing the garage. Not to mention the years of training endured to get that dad-delivery down juuuuuust right. Trust us, when you see a group of men standing around another man’s brand new bandsaw, they’re not just talking tools. That’s a dad joke symposium right there. Feedback. Is. Being. Given. Just as iron sharpens iron, dad humor hones dad humor.

So, in honor of Father’s Day, we’re paying homage to Dad’s sense of wit with our top 10 favorite dad jokes. So put on that free blood donation t-shirt, hike up those cargo shorts, and secure your cell phone belt clip ‘cause these jokes are coming in hot!

TOP 10 DAD JOKES

JOKE #1

I didn't want to believe that your mom, the traffic cop, was stealing from her work... but when I got home, all the signs were there…

JOKE #2

Do you know what I was thinking today? I was thinking, poop jokes aren’t my favorite kind of jokes… but they’re a solid #2.

JOKE #3

Did you hear?! NASA finally was able to construct a restaurant on the moon?! I’m not certain it’s going to last long though. I’ve heard it has great food, but no atmosphere.

JOKE #4

Do you know how to find the tallest building in each city? Look for the library—it has the most stories.

JOKE #5

Did you know, statistically, a football stadium is always the hottest after every game ends? That’s because all the fans left.

JOKE #6

Did you know, in America, making fun of the metric system can get you in legal trouble? In fact, if you mock it, you may be held in contempt of quart.

JOKE #7

How can you tell a female ant from a male ant? You put them in water. If the ant sinks, girl ant. If the ant floats, buoyant.

JOKE #8

I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. It was clogged!

JOKE #9

What happened when a ship full of red sailors ran into a ship full of blue sailors?—they were marooned!

JOKE #10

How much does a hipster weigh?—an Instagram.

Welp! There you have it. Our favorite dad jokes, one right after the other. As you wipe away your tears of laughter, let’s all take a moment to appreciate the brilliant dad brains that dreamt up these whoppers. It takes a specific kind of mind to be this creative.

The Best Gifts You Could Possibly Give Dad

Not all Father's Day gifts come in boxes. Sometimes, the best Father's Day gifts are simple, small acts of kindness that mean the most to the men in your life. Here are some simple gift ideas you can give to dad that cost next to nothing:

1. Pay him a "dad-compliment": Fawn over his green grass. Tell him he's a grill master. Applaud his parallel parking skills. He'll be so tickled at the compliment, he won't be able to stop smiling.
2. Ask him to teach you something: Dads love passing on their knowledge, especially to their kiddos. From how to change a tire to where to buy the best mulch, dads are basically beacons of practical tips and tricks. Indulge his desire to show off his skills. He'll really appreciate it—we promise.
3. Give him a sweet treat: Give him something sweet he can snack on while doing dad things, like mowing the lawn or surfing the TV for sports. We recommend our DeLuxe® Fruitcake Petites. Not only will these satisfy his secret sweet tooth, but they also can be enjoyed with just one hand—a plus for dads doing stuff.

Don't Forget a Gift for Dad!

And while we're thinking of dad, don’t forget to get him a little something-something just to remind him of what a rad dad he is. Skedaddle on over to our specials page to shop our selection of dad-rific desserts he’s certain to appreciate just as much as a well-timed dad joke.